


ridiculous suits and Cole Phelps's dick

by pajaro



Category: L.A. Noire
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fix-It, I know it, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Repression, We all know it, YOU KNOW IT, denial of feels, roy is totally hot for cole's dick, where you-know-who doesn't kick it in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 22:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3427286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pajaro/pseuds/pajaro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically everything Roy Earle wants in life.</p><p>(or, the one where it's a sad excuse for a fix-it fic and porn)</p>
            </blockquote>





	ridiculous suits and Cole Phelps's dick

**Author's Note:**

> So once upon a time, I had the most hilarious headcanon and that was that Roy was all about Cole Phelps because he had a crush on him. Like super big. Like HUGE. Like astronomical, okay? Like love-at-first-(deny-it-all-the-way-to-the-bank)-sight kind of thing going on. Like that dude wanted to ride it like he stole it. HE TOTALLY WANTED TO STEAL IT. Like that whole thing where he spilled the beans about Elsa? Was totally because he was mind-numbingly jealous. (He thought Cole was a good guy, you know? He was married. He had kids. He thought there was no chance in hell the guy would ever stray from his wife and when he did? BRAIN EXPLODEY. And then jackassholery. Yeah. Lmao)
> 
> And so, this fic. Which is not even really so much as a fic as it is a ficbit. Like, just the porny bits. Bit. Whatever. *handwaves* 
> 
> Once upon a time, this fic had delusions of grandeur. Or at least it had delusions of being an actual start-to-finish completed fic. Alas, that didn't happen (does it ever?) and thus I am posting the only bit of it I actually like.
> 
> SURPRISE! It's porn. brblolingforever.gif

“Why’d you do it, Earle? You let things be and I would’ve been fish food. Would’ve made your cronies real happy to see me go. Probably would have got you a bonus. Could’ve bought yourself a brand new suit,” Cole snarled.

“Yeah, maybe I should have,” Roy snarled back. He didn’t know _why_ he did it. Why he stepped in to save the man’s life when it would have made his bosses happier to let him die. He shouldn’t have even been there at the sewers but he’d heard the call over the radio, knew the second car helping Kelso had to have been Phelps and he didn’t even hesitate to follow along. Didn’t hesitate to grab a rope from his car when he saw Biggs hovering over the drainage pipe either. “Would have cost me a hell of a lot less grief.”

“So tell me then, tell me why!” Phelps wasn’t just trying to get a rise out of Roy, he was angry and he wanted an answer. Well, Roy didn’t have one to give.

Phelps came at him again, pushing him back until he bumped into the wall behind him. 

“Hey, back off, man, this suit is worth more than your--”

“Cut the bullshit, Earle.” Phelps was in his space, breathing down his neck. In Roy’s face like he’d done dozens of times to suspects and witnesses alike. He smelled like some kind of spicy cologne and a little bit like sweat; his face was flushed and his lips red like someone had been gnawing on them and-- Roy blinked and looked into Phelps’ eyes. Watched the anger fall right off of the man’s face and something like understanding slide right into place. 

He shoved Phelps away from him when the man’s jaw dropped and he began to laugh.

“What the fuck are you laughing at, Phelps?” Roy said before he could stop himself. “You know what, forget it. I’m outta here.” He took a step towards the door but found himself slammed back against the wall a second later.

“Hey--”

“Shut the fuck up, _Roy_.” And that was... something about the tone in Phelps voice was a little bit... off.

“Who do you--”

“I said _shut up_ ,” and then there were lips. Right up against his and. Roy was having a hard time remembering what--

He’d gone to Elsa’s apartment in search of Phelps. Ended up at this shithole across town and. There had been arguing. Phelps was an asshole and he was going to leave. But now. Warm, wet, there was a tongue prodding at his lips begging to be let in and he opened reflexively. Hands in his hair made his hat fall to the floor and a thigh pressed up against his half-hard--

He gasped, shoving Phelps violently away. He was out of breath and his heart was set to beat right out of his chest and Phelps. Phelps looked... _hungry_. God, he didn’t know what the fuck--

Phelps pushed back in, tongue slotting right back into place, teeth nipping at his lips making Roy so goddamn hot under his collar and the thigh was back, rubbing against him and making him _hard_ \--

Roy moaned and fisted his hands into Phelps shirt because he’d wanted--

Lips, _teeth_ , at his jaw, sliding along his neck, sucking bruises into his skin and making nerve endings scream in pleasure. “Phelps, what--” Phelps yanked at his tie and pushed his coat off his shoulders. Roy found himself helping unconsciously. His shirt was unbuttoned and off before he knew it and then Cole’s was too and he was losing himself in this, in the slide of Cole’s dangerously hot mouth on his, the feel of Cole’s body, firm and solid, warm and alive against his own.

Fuck the feel of it. He’d never done anything like this before. Never felt the hot, hard press of another man’s cock against his thigh and he wanted to recoil; felt like he should, at any rate. Roy wanted to step back because whoa, hey, this isn’t him. He’d never wanted this before, never even thought about it. But the pressure was building at the base of his spine. The friction and heat even through the layers that separated skin from skin was unbelievable. 

Cole was growling into his mouth and fucking up against him hard, hands holding onto his hips with a grip that he wouldn’t be surprised to see left bruises later. The press of cloth-covered cock against his own was electric. It was violent and angry and so fucking _strange_ but it was-- something about it was so-- good, so good Roy could only shudder up against the other man as the waves of sensation rose up within him. He felt the pain of Cole’s teeth against the juncture where his shoulder met neck and the hot wet mess in his pants a second after.

**Author's Note:**

> that title is totally how I first described it back in 2011: 
> 
> "So I finished playing LA Noire the other day, yes? AND THEN I STARTED WRITING FIC. IDEK. Can I HELP it that all Roy Earle seems to want in life is a bunch of his ridiculous looking suits and Cole Phelps's dick? CAN I? No. I cannot."
> 
> lmao forever and ever


End file.
